My Response

       “Well, what’s your solution?”

        That would be a fair response to Thursday’s post. In it, I criticized the left and the right for their predictable response to the Charleston shooting and lamented that no solution would be found in time to prevent another tragedy we’ve seen far too often.

        What would I do? First, we have to look at the mental health angle of gun violence and count suicides by guns in our discussions. So many of the mass shooting gunmen take their own lives, we should recognize the thought of taking many lives often starts with the thought of taking one.

        So part of my solution would be a heavy investment and destigmatizing of mental health care. But that is really part of the general health which leads to healthcare which leads to how individuals pay and have access to it and now suddenly the issue of gun deaths now includes health care and public expenditure.

        That’s why so little progress is made, because once you get past the sound bites into real causation and prevention, it suddenly is linked to issues that were beyond the scope of the initial problem.

        My semi-original thought is to stop trying to limit the guns themselves and start licensing people for different levels of gun ownership, like driver’s licenses. A license for a single shotgun would be simpler to obtain that a license for a machine gun. The applicants would have to demonstrate responsibility, security, and sanity as they progressed in the quantity and quality of gun ownership.

        I can hear some percolating at the mere mention of paperwork. But every “Freedom of” has and exception. There is the high school social studies chestnut of yelling “Fire” in a crowded theater exception to Freedom of Speech. Libel, though often difficult to prove, prevents some excess of the tabloids, despite their cry of Freedom of the Press.

        I think even the most vocal opponent of gun control would have no problem denying someone convicted of murder from owning a gun, but that IS gun control. We just need to find a middle, rational ground. 

       Will emotions fueled by the Charleston tragedy and long held fear of losing one’s firearms be able to come together to find a solution that just slows down these tragedies? Unfortunately, we already know the answer.

Why Girls Need a Puppy

        Ladies, do you have problems with men? Did you raise and care for a puppy when you were a pre-teen? Very few women will answer yes to both questions for a simple reason; all men are dogs. Now this isn’t groundbreaking news and many will substitute another word that starts with a “D” for dogs, but the dog analogy is more accurate. It will also explain the imperative that all young girls be given a puppy, if they are to develop a healthy relationship with a man.

First, let me solidify the dog analogy. Just like dogs, we men all have different physical appearances. Some are tall, some are short, some are hairy, others have less of a coat. Just like dogs, men are genetically predisposed to sleep, eat, play, and procreate. Now I can hear some women saying, “Oh no, my man is different, he isn’t like that.” Yes, yes, he is. He is a dog. You are confusing a different breed for a different species.

        Different breeds have different traits or instincts. For example, Labrador Retrievers love the water. Border Collies love to herd grazing animals. Some guys love to work on cars and others love to hunt. Just as you can’t be angry at a Lab (who loves the water) for making muddy paw prints on your brand new eggshell, cut and loop carpet, you can’t be angry at man (who loves fishing) for taking his bass boat out on the sixth month anniversary of the first time he said “I love you”.

        Using positive and negative reinforcement, you can train a puppy not to pee inside; the same goes for a man. An unacceptable behavior can be corrected, but it must start at the first occurrence. If you expect your man to open the door for you, the first time he fails to do so, you should stand and wait for him. Some verbal clues might be needed. But, when he does catch the clue and opens the door, some positive reinforcement is required- “Oh, thank you. You are such a gentleman.” Perhaps with a slight brush on the hand, too. Repeat each and every time and soon the unwanted behavior will be modified.

        Just like dogs, we’ll eat strange things (deep fried pork rinds?) and drink from strange places (have you seen some of the bars in the daylight?) So, some care in feeding is necessary. We can be content to go play on our own, but some of your attention is required during play time, especially in the early years. In later years, a little will go a long way. As for procreation, when the urge is present, dogs/men will try to hump anything, so vigilance is required (Hugh Grant and the Hollywood hooker, with Liz Hurley at home, need I say more?)

        So, you can see the great value in giving a girl a puppy to raise. She’ll learn to watch what she feeds it, give it attention, but let it play on its own while keeping an eye on it. She’ll learn how to correct inappropriate behavior and to appreciate the different traits each one has and pick out a breed that best suits her. In short, she’ll gain all the skills necessary to be happy with a man. Or, she’ll get a cat.

Another

     

        Another mass shooting that makes no sense. Except, this one might, if it turns out that the shooter was actually motivated by hate. In the era of a black president, can Americans still be motivated to kill each other based upon skin color? Apparently, one can.

        Some previous shooters have had a greater link to mental illness. But is racism a mental disease? Should it be? Certainly, the desire to kill someone because they look different has no logical rationale. Certainly, there were participants of past racial violence that shared the same fear, distrust, hate as yesterday’s shooter. And certainly, no one of that era would have suggested that they weren’t mentally ill, just good ol’ boys that went too far. Were they mentally ill then?

        With each mass shooting (how depressing to acknowledge more than one and suggest their regular occurrence), calls for a more universally armed public are heard.

“If only someone had a gun, he couldn’t have killed as many,” they’ll state with certainly. And, certainly, there have been people, mostly law enforcement officers, who have stopped a deadly encounter from expanding.

I believe that those on the left must agree to the possibility that this could happen. If everyone were armed, it would be very unlikely that one person could kill as many as they often (there again, how awful to write the plural) do. But the right has to agree that mass shootings would be replaced by many, many, smaller incidents of gun violence as angry individual have immediate access to a deadly weapon. Imagine every angry driver with the ability to express his anger with a gun and not just the car.

Another depressing thought about this terrible tragedy is the realization that there will be not solution devised in time to prevent the next one. One side wants more guns in more hands and the other side wants fewer guns in fewer hands. The other unanswered question is how many more will die? The number is unknown but not that fact that it will be a number. A large one.

Is the US Post Office still needed?

Absolutely.

The United States Post Office is a favorite target of some. Long lines, confusing rules, inefficiency, debt, costs are several criticisms as well as the challenges of being relevant in the internet age.  The Pony Express was once a symbol of the Post Office’s innovation. Now the saying, “gone the way of the Pony Express,” is a colorful way of saying “outdated and obsolete.”

But everyone loves to find a personal letter in the mailbox. There is no denying that opening an envelope that’s been mailed with a stamp is a more pleasurable experience than clicking a line in your inbox. Partly the tactile sensation, partly now a modern rarity, getting a letter in the mail is often a highlight of the day.

Is the temporary joy of a letter enough justification to keep open an operation that burns through money? Of course not. Though, one aspect of the Post Office’s debt is a mandated pre-funding of retirement benefits that competitors and almost all business don’t have. Eliminating this requirement would go a long way to balancing the Post Office’s books.

The Post Office is often maligned for having poor service, but I had a recent experience is the complete opposite of that.

I had sent three packages to the same address in Northern California and the shipping clerk in Fresno transposed two digits of the Zip Code. One of the packages was shipped to the wrong destination post office. Now before anyone goes pointing fingers and saying “aha, that’s a perfect example,” we are all human and I quite as easily could have done the same thing.

I knew this because I had the tracking numbers and was following the route of the packages. (You can now get free tracking on you items. They weren’t the first, but better late than never.) I was able to call the customer service line and the rep was very helpful. He started an inquiry and gave me a number to directly call the post office that had the wrong package. I called that post office, explained the problem, they immediately searched for the package while I was on the phone and shipped it on to the correct. The final destination post office called to double check everything. Yes they initially screwed up, but rapidly fixed the problem. I once spent three days trying to get AA&T to flip one switch to fix a problem they created.

I think one of the most important reasons that the Post Office is still relevant and needed is the democratic aspect of it. It’s tasked with giving Americans the ability to send material and contact each other throughout the nation. Not only those in large urban areas, or those with internet, but all across this large, diverse country. And at the same price. It costs the same for someone in rural Nebraska to mail a letter as someone in New York City. That’s democracy in action.

In an age where the economic gap between classes is widening and you can buy your way out of the indignities of TSA searches, isn’t a service that everyone can use, guarantees accessibility from all parts of the country and is affordable priced for everyone still needed? I think so. If you disagree, please send me a letter.

A Good Excuse

Ok, I’ve got a really good excuse, this time. My battery ran out in my cell phone and I had to get it changed. Except, it wasn’t just the battery and it wasn’t just a cell phone. It was an ICD or an Implanted Cardiac Defibrillator.

        Most known is a pace maker, but mine is actually a combo unit that also acts as an internal defibrillator. (Twice the bang for the buck!) I won’t go into my exact need for it, partly out not wanting to bore you with technical and medical details and partly because I don’t want to, but I had one, battery 

eventually runs out, have to replace it, which means a new unit.

        At some point down the line, they will have the ability to transfer energy wirelessly and eliminate the need for periodic replacement. The data and settings are currently down and up loaded wirelessly; an ICD check-up is done by a someone with a laptop and wifi, just like your iPhone, but instead of downloading songs and uploading pics, they are downloading how many times my heart missed a beat and uploading how beats per minute I must have before it shocks me.

        Since this was a replacement, I was prepared for the pain involved. The first one involved putting something the size of a small cell phone (pre-smart phone small) into the body where it had not existed before. (Please, no foreign object/Richard Gere jokes.) Even with the drugs, the body doesn’t like it and lets you know.

        So, I was mentally prepared this time, even though the doctor said this procedure would be easier. Frankly, I thought he was blowing smoke up my ass (see previous joke ban) just to ensure that I would show up. I really tried not to think too much about the procedure, realizing that I was only stressing out about something that I had to do and why ruin the days before when they could be pleasant. I was actually relaxed when I went to the hospital.

        Hospitals are most people’s least favorite place. You don’t go there to hang out, spend the day off there, or make plans for a family vacation. You are at a hospital because you or a loved one is sick, really sick. And sometimes they don’t come out.

        So, I think it really is natural that people dislike them, even though they are placings of healing and a vital necessity for society. One only has to live in the absence of one to long for its presence, but just never wanting to go there, like a married man needing to know he can still get a number at a bar without the desire to ever use it.

        The staff at my hospital (I won’t mention the name, not out of sense of objectivity, but I want my ad money before I give them a plug) was first class. Every step of the way, they were professional, courteous, and kind. My trepidation level remained low and I was surprised myself with how calm I was. The room didn’t even fell freezing like it normal does.

        I started to become worried when the first dose of the sedative didn’t really take the edge off. I’d felt more numbed by a couple of shots of Jägermeister, than what they initially gave me. The doctor came in and started giving the area some shots of a local anesthetic. I felt the first two shots. A lot. Then I was given some more of what I had (or a different drug), in any case, it kicked in, and hello Mr. Happy time.

        Obviously, the doctor knew what he was talking about. The replacement procedure wasn’t as invasive and painful as the first one because most of the hard work was already done. He used the same leads (some no messing around the heart) and the space needed in the chest for the unit was already created. In and out of the hospital (they did the procedure on an out-patient basis) was only slightly longer than the doctor’s visit when he is running late.

        So, I’ve used the procedure to get out of a lot of things. A memorial day weekend where I didn’t have to do any trash duty, skipping a couple of meetings that are almost as strong of sedative as what I was given, and this blog. Except, I really could’ve written something during that time. I could have pecked something out one-handed. (OK, put your one-handed act jokes here.)

        The staples are out, the steri-strips are off, and I can type. Let’s get a good streak of posts going.